May 31, 2017
Harmful Self-Love vs. Helpful Selfless Love
- Jim Hager -
- What exactly is codependency?
For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10).
- In codependency, a person tries to satisfy the needs of another who is often controlling or manipulative and who may have an addictive or emotionally unstable personality.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourselves or you also may be tempted (Galatians 6:1-2 NIV).
The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me (Psalm 118:16 ESV).
- God does not want us to idolize anyone. No one, including our spouse, is to come before our Heavenly Father.
Someone told Him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You.” He replied to him, “Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?” Pointing to His disciples, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother (Matthew 12:47-50 NIV).
- The key word for all codependency is manipulation, whether conscious or subconscious. God always works to bring good out of whatever happens in your life. The pieces of your life are put back together to bring peace.
Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you (Galatians 5:1 The Message).
- I concern myself with Your desires because my only desire is to please You. This is the attitude we should have toward God, not toward any other human being.
The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as Holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to dread (Isaiah 8:13 NIV).
- We often learn how to control through codependency as children; however, as we grow in Christ we can let things go and find the path to truth.
Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands (Isaiah 43:18-19 The Message).
- Even now my peace of mind is affected by the struggles my wife may be having.
By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything (I John 3:19-20 NASB).
- I don’t have or understand boundaries, and who I am revolves around taking care of you.
May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in Him. Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13 ESV).